1224/5  Ship Working Section, R.E. C.M.F
No. 181

Dearest.
Your half ink half pencil letter came today, the one of the 21-24th., wherein Dickie had been magpieing your pen, mothers bag, clothing coupons and I don’t know what.   We have that game here sometimes, I know the treatment, he’s probably flogging them in Alcester, slipping out on my bike with them. You gave me his diet, which sounds good, our diet in fact. But Not His Dimensions.   Hasn’t he got any?  Is he nebulous or just so mobile that he can’t be measured, or is he like a point, have position but no dimensions. Tip of Nose to Tip of Tail please, and wing tip to wing tip.  I want to mark him on the wall.  I am his father (Heavens, so I am!  Sobering thought).

So Our Gerald is developing as I always feared, through sheer ignorance in his parents and inherited awkwardness from his father. Nice of Inspector Woods to think I could have helped. I’d have tousled him before this I expect. He needs and has always needed strong handling. Poor Mrs. A, and bless you for helping.    Bless us all.  But it is nice to be favourably remembered by the Police, even if its quite a false estimate. Praps he’ll vote for me if I put up for the R.D.C. But we want to be in with Norman Edkins!  And he wouldn’t like being put out. I’ll wait till Eden’s worth opposing perhaps.

Dickie’s diet is interesting, he shall have some more petits fours. I’ll order a box tomorrow that ever was. He shall have them. My son knows my pictures, eh? Which ones? There must be a gallery by now. Shew him none of those of Mothers at the age of ten or less. He’d be hurt.  I had better grow VIII army whiskers…

Fred and Jessica coming, good.  Bless them, make Fred write about the family.   He writes well.

Glad you like Cricket Ball. I must write more Things. Although nowt has gone on paper I’m full of the book, now definitely “Parrots and Monkeys”, or perhaps “Pick up your Parrots and Monkeys”. I’ll send a chunk off soon really I will, it takes stewing time you know. But Cricket Ball I liked doing and its so true.   Pity I’m so bad at cricket.    Do try and get me Blunden’s book. Make it a welfare case with the publisher if Kelly can’t do it. I loved the Wavell book.

I’m a little deserted just now.  Having been here three weeks and watched, I’ve got Derek to act with me and have started a blitz on the work here. A firm order to officers to go down with their men and stay there, a blitz on bloc to the Sergeants and a tightening up all around. So I’m unloved, but as its sheer common sense and the unit was going rotten its inevitable.    I don’t mind because they’ll soon get over it. Derek is a good man, (my partner O.C. of 1222/3)(and operationally we work together and must have the same policy) but he’s rather weak and needs leading. He’s playing and is being tough. I get the blame, but don’t mind.  I’m after 1021 standards.    It’ll be nice to see the show straighten out and get on a course again.   My officers are good ones, Dereks are duds. Its fun, watching the fluttering in the dove cote and saying nowt.    The way is to issue an order…such and such will happen and officers will….and invite and allow no comment.    Then they do it.    Bless us all.   Don’t half think me a stupid new-broom reactionary.   Dearie me.   Polite and respectful. Easier this way, we’ll all settle down and know which is which.

Dentist this afternoon, and after a year and a half of nothing he said the teeth were in fine condition and asked who had done them and bowed at the name Humphrey Humphreys.   He is dealing with two, a wisdom which wants a little learning in it and a molar which needs boring and filling.   Going again on Monday next again.   Glad they are all right. Good things teeth, don’t leave yours- have them done.

Last night I spent with the colonel, the two of us at his mess alone,    He had the Sixth symphony Pastoral and we played that, and talked of books and history and all that and ate much dripping toast and drank cocoa and had a fine tete a tete, both of us relaxing and being natural.  I’ve got another broadcast quiz on Saturday, Colonel, M.O. and two knowing subalterns against a team from Area H.Q.  Rehearsal tomorrow in this Mess when I shall play Question master and at the microphone to the panel on Thursday and broadcast at 1730 on Saturday. Fun. We are lending each other books hard. His aren’t very good his wife’s not very clever.  Poor man she has a peke and no children. We have a cocker and Dickie. Poor Roy.

Far from the Madding crowd has a chapter which I soberly consider the best in modern English literature. The barn and the sheep shearing. I have a mind to memorise it.   But my memory is so bad.

Going shopping with Allan tomorrow morning, Christmas, but its hard here, things are hard to find and very pricey now.   Oh a bill might come from Parker Pipe Coy., I’ve written for two, I know a man who did and got them by return.    I’ll tell them to send the bill to you. Thirty bob about.   Can you take it from the chest, some corner might have them, scratch about and see.    The one you sent has now become perfect, it has taken a lot of breaking in but its done it and its sweet and cool. But a Parker would be nice, one I’ll sell to someone else.

Dear dear you, I don’t say much but you make it so easy to keep straight and sensible and to be reasonable away from home.   You are more than I deserve and always you are with me, you and our son..  David    X